Marriage, by far, the hardest thing we’ve EVER done…but for reasons you may not know!
At probably one of the happiest points in my life, probably right after Herman & I were remarried, I remember telling my sister in law that, “Pondy & I both agreed that marriage was probably one of the hardest things we’d ever done”. I mean harder than Business Policies with Dr. Self, your last semester, of your last year at Alabama State University, Lol! (That was for all of my fb ASU COBA Alum! Lol! Y’all know what I’m talking about, ugh, lol). Okay, I digress;)! Anywho, she looked at me & smiled & said, “Peaches, really? No? really”? And I could see the wheels turning in her head as she was “THINKING TO HERSELF” because she didn’t actually utter these words but I could see her “thinking”, “but you guys seem so happy! Y’all made it work”! I laugh at that comment now because I actually just made the statement and kind of walked off & got into another conversation. I didn’t get a chance to finish or clarify my statement. What I meant was, the hardest thing we had ever done…”WIDE OPEN & Exposed”!
We thought it was a sho nuff love the 1st time but we soon realized that it was “I can’t live without you…until you do something to piss me off type of love”. Lol! The first time, when we got married, there was no fear or thoughts of, “this thing may not work”. There was no real honest, genuine put my feelings & thoughts & concerns to the side for the sake of some one else’s…constantly. There was no constant concern for how the other person felt, for example, if you walked into the room & they were sitting there & they sighed too hard, your stomach dropped because you wanted to know, “are you ok? Do you need something”? There were no calls just to say, I had a very vivid dream & I just needed to hear your voice. No feelings of, as long as she/he’s smiling & her/his day is going good, no matter what craziness is going in around me, I’m GOOD! If we’re being totally honest, there was not a lot of that.
This time around, for us, is the hardest but only because we’ve had to learn true sacrifice. It’s honestly not about how we, individually, feel or what we, individually, want. We have honestly put all of our selfish ambitions and quests to be the BEST outside of each other to the side. The divorce made us stronger because we now realize that the “work”, now so effortlessly, goes into each other but in doing this, we found out that we wound up making ourselves “Happy” when we know that the other person is! Our motto is: if you’re good…I’m Great! Hard work, heck yeah! But so worth it! I wouldn’t change a thing! #HowMyDivorceSavedMyMarriage. Stay Tuned!